Season 1
(2003)
Cast
as Charlie Harper
as Alan Harper
as Jake Harper
as Evelyn Harper
as Judith Harper
as Rose
Episodes
Pilot 6.3
September 22, 2003
Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew mov…
Big Flappy Bastards 6.8
September 29, 2003
Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, C…
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 7.1
October 5, 2003
Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a f…
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 7.3
October 12, 2003
Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately…
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 6.9
October 19, 2003
Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 6.5
October 26, 2003
The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's…
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake 7.3
November 2, 2003
Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked i…
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful 7.0
November 9, 2003
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
Phase One, Complete 6.6
November 15, 2003
Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious …
Merry Thanksgiving 7.0
November 23, 2003
Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that s…
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 6.7
December 14, 2003
When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him t…
Camel Filters and Pheromones 7.2
January 4, 2004
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious …
Sarah Like Puny Alan 6.6
January 10, 2004
Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's be…
I Can't Afford Hyenas 6.7
February 1, 2004
Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come…
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 6.9
February 8, 2004
Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.
That Was Saliva, Alan 7.1
February 15, 2004
Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for …
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 7.3
February 22, 2004
Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an …
An Old Flame With a New Wick 7.2
February 29, 2004
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 7.2
March 21, 2004
Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn br…
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 7.0
April 18, 2004
Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.
No Sniffing, No Wowing 7.0
May 2, 2004
Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan …
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 6.9
May 9, 2004
When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his d…
Just Like Buffalo 7.2
May 16, 2004
When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop…
Can You Feel My Finger? 6.9
May 23, 2004
Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not ta…